


Where's my Love

by suckmyboardbxtch



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bipolar Disorder, Depressed Even Bech Næsheim, Depression, Heavy Angst, Isak Takes Care of Even, M/M, based on a syml song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 07:48:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11869827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suckmyboardbxtch/pseuds/suckmyboardbxtch
Summary: Even has a bad depressive episode after a long time, and Isak doesn’t know how to handle it.(based on 'Where's my love' by Syml)





	Where's my Love

**Author's Note:**

> I actually don't know why I did this to myself, but I'm sitting here right now sobbing and listening to the song all over again. I hardly recommend listen to the song while reading this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAG97kBUr4E   
> Anyways, like you can see in the tags, if this topic could trigger you in any way, you shouldn't read it, so reading it is on your own risk! As always English is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any spelling, grammar etc mistakes! Critic, kudos or comments are gladly appreciated!   
> Alt er love <3
> 
> (btw my babies deserve all the happiness of the world, i hate myself for letting them suffer)

It has been over nearly 2 years since it last happened, but when it happened again it hit them like a thunderstorm. Hard, surprising and unbelievably dark. It was probably the worst episode Even ever had and usually Isak would have hope and would try every single way to handle it, but this time it seemed absolutely and completely hopeless. It’s been over a week since Even didn’t get out of his bed, it’s been over a week since he’s eaten properly, but what seemed to be the worst was that it’s been over a week since he has said something and it broke Isak’s heart seeing him so lifeless when he usually was the human sun, with his bright smile and his wonderful ocean blue eyes that emanated so much happiness. It would be even a little bit better if he would at least show any emotion but he didn’t, he just lied in his bed with glassy eyes which were staring unfocused at the ceiling, that when he wasn’t sleeping. And Isak’s hope faded every day a little more, because it just got worse with every day passing by. Isak’s heart broke every day a little more, and he was scared. He was so fucking scared that he lost him, that he lost the love of his life because his demons overcame him and afflicted him. He was scared that he failed to save him right back when he needed him. Isak was completely hopeless.

 It was the 10th day since the episode overcame him and Isak was lying next to him, stroking his arm carefully. He was telling him quietly that he got a 6 on a biology test and that the boys and Sana were asking about him and that he talked to his mother that morning. Even just lied next to him, staring unfocused at the ceiling and Isak didn’t know if he was even aware of Isak’s presence or if he was understanding what he was telling him, but everything was better than that fucking terrifying silence. The tea and the sandwich Isak has made him this morning before he left for school, were still untouched and his hair was starting to get greasy. Isak almost didn’t recognize him and every time he looked at him he was at the urge of crying, but he never did cry. He wanted to stay strong for him, he didn’t need to pity himself. But at that moment it got too much for him, it was too fucking much for him and so he started crying. He hid his face at the crook of Even’s neck, quiet sobs escaping his mouth.

 “Even…Even, please please say something baby, please Even..”, he muttered over and over, but he didn’t get a reaction, everything remained quiet. Isak lost track of time, he didn’t know if 30 minutes passed or 3 hours but he knew that he fell asleep at some point and when he woke up with his head on Even’s chest, he felt Even’s strong arms around him and he heard silent music in the background. He kept his eyes closed and listened to the soft piano sounds and the slow steady heartbeat under his head.

 

> _Cold bones, yeah that’s my love_
> 
> _She glides away like a ghost_
> 
> _Does she know that we bleed the same_
> 
> _Don’t wanna cry but I break that way_

He felt Even’s slender fingers stroking through his hair, humming to the smooth melodies.

> _Cold sheets, oh where’s my love_
> 
> _I am searching high, I’m searching low in the night_
> 
> _Does she know that we bleed the same_
> 
> _Don’t wanna cry but I break that way_

Isak opened his eyes and looked up to Even, silent tears were streaming down his cheeks while he was still humming to the quiet sounds of the song.

> _Did she run away? Did she run away?_
> 
> _I don’t know_
> 
> _If she ran away, if she ran away come back home_
> 
> _Just come home_

 

Isak reached up with his slightly shaking hand and carefully wiped away the tears of his cheek, making the older boy close his eyes and lean into the smoothing touch.

> _I got a fear, oh in my blood_
> 
> _She’s carried up into the clouds high above_
> 
> _If you bled, I bleed the same_
> 
> _If you’re scared, I’m on my way_
> 
> _Did you run away? Did you run away?_
> 
> _I don’t need to know_
> 
> _If you ran away, if you ran away come back home_
> 
> _Just come home_

“I’m so sorry Isak.”


End file.
